A Thanksgiving Tribute to Deployed Military: The Empty Chair

By Tony Grayson Tech Executive (ex-SVP Oracle, AWS, Meta) & Former Nuclear Submarine Commander

Thanksgiving on the bridge. Cold, grey, and miles from home—the reality of standing the watch while the world celebrates.

I stumbled across this photo of myself recently, taken during a Thanksgiving underway years ago.

When I look at it, I don't just see the cold weather gear or the grey sky. I remember the feeling of that specific silence—the kind you only experience when you are thousands of miles away from the people you love on a day set aside for being with them. That distance is what teaches you the true value of the chair you’re sitting in today.

Happy Thanksgiving.

There is a shift that happens as you get older. The holidays, once defined by the excitement of gifts or the sheer volume of food on the table, begin to take on a different weight.

Since my mother passed away, I’ve realized that the most important part of the Thanksgiving table isn’t the turkey, the stuffing, or the football game on in the background. It is the people sitting in the chairs.

When you lose a parent, the finite nature of time stops being a concept and starts being a reality. You realize that "next year" is not a promise. This realization doesn't make the holiday sadder; it makes it richer. It forces you to cherish the chaos, the laughter, and even the arguments with a new level of intensity.

But as we sit down to enjoy this time with the families we cherish, I want to offer a Thanksgiving tribute to deployed military personnel who aren't at a table at all today.

The Price of Peace: A Veteran Leadership Perspective

It is easy to forget, amidst the comfort of our living rooms, that our peace is a manufactured state. It is not the default setting of the world. From a veteran leadership perspective, I know that peace is maintained, actively and aggressively, by men and women who volunteered to stand between us and the chaos.

Right now, as you are carving the turkey:

• There is a soldier eating an MRE in a cold outpost.

• There is a submarine sailor submerged hundreds of feet underwater, missing the sun and their children.

• There is a pilot sitting near an alert aircraft, ready to launch at a moment's notice.

They are tired. They are lonely. And they are risking their lives specifically so that we can have the luxury of spending time with our families. This is the real cost of service that we often overlook once the holidays roll around.

Thanksgiving Tribute to Deployed Military: Honoring the Military Family Sacrifice

We must also remember the other side of that coin: the military family sacrifice. For every empty chair at a military mess hall overseas, there is a corresponding empty chair at a dinner table here at home.

There are spouses carrying the weight of the entire household alone today, creating holiday magic for their children while quietly managing their own fears. There are mothers and fathers whose only wish for Thanksgiving is a simple text message saying, 'I'm safe.' Their sacrifice is silent, but no less profound.

A Toast to the Watchstanders

As we enjoy the fruits of our freedom today, let us not forget the roots of it.

I am reminded of the words often attributed to George Orwell, which capture the reality of our safety:

"We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us."

So, this Thanksgiving, by all means, enjoy the food. Watch the game. Hug your family a little tighter, knowing how precious that time is. But before you take that first bite, take a moment of silence for the ones standing the watch.

To those deployed: We are safe because you are there. To the families missing them: We are grateful for what you endure.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Tony Grayson is a recognized Top 10 Data Center Influencer, a successful entrepreneur, and the President & General Manager of Northstar Enterprise + Defense.

A former U.S. Navy Submarine Commander and recipient of the prestigious VADM Stockdale Award, Tony is a leading authority on the convergence of nuclear energy, AI infrastructure, and national defense. His career is defined by building at scale: he led global infrastructure strategy as a Senior Vice President for AWS, Meta, and Oracle before founding and selling a top-10 modular data center company.

Today, he leads strategy and execution for critical defense programs and AI infrastructure, building AI factories and cloud regions that survive contact with reality.

Read more at: tonygraysonvet.com